(What the EFFE ... stomping around in a circle w/ my arms spread out)

When the Levees Broke... (another Spike Lee joint)

WARNING: This posting is just random reactions and quotes that I had to get out while watching the documentary...structure, form and grammar is sorta crazy...apologies...

So I will be up all night doing my work for Thursday... but I think it is well worth it for me to watch Spike Lee's documentary. This is very wild & I really hope that everyone is watching, b/c I feel like this ish is real. While I am watching this I can only think of Dr. Foster (Virginia Union / University of Richmond) professor who taught Black Community in Urban America, he would say something like, "America's unimaginable, disgraceful notion that the black underclass has absolutely no value." Then, Dr. Foster, would suck his teeth, followed by a long, almost awkward pause to let us think about the realness in what he just said.

In watching this documentary, I am realizing that MY people are hella resourceful. Using air mattresses, rubbermaid storage containers and refrigerators as boats and flotation devices - in a last resort effort to save thier lives.

Hot DAMN, a child maybe 12 explaining to the reporter that her mom needed oxygen (I guess she was asthmatic or had emphysema) and she's taking care of her younger simblings, and her mother is dead in the backroom.

"My grandmother is a diabetic, she is on insulin, and doesn't have any. She don't know if she is going to live or die...what she gonna do? We just need some help and support." - 8 - 10 year old boy

Singing "This Little Light of Mine" in the Superdome - Which demonstrates black people's unsurmountable faith in God, which has been consistent and present in all of the darkest days against black people, from slavery, to civil rights, and evidently to Katrina.

Did I just hear this white guy right in saying, "they were not niggers they were animals???" Uhm, since when is that ok?!? I'm really hoping that I heard him incorrectly...

Black Chief of Police caught up in tears...when a Black man cries (especially in public), you know things are real!

Well hell, the white newsreporter is crying and it seems just as crazy, so when you see a White man crying (especially in public), you know things are real!

"George Bush doesnt care about Black people...I wasnt concerned about record sales or sponsorships, which we did, but I was more concerned about if I was in these people shoes" - Kanye

"Go Fuck yourself Vice President" - random young white dude...and he said this to his face on national tv...ca-ra-zy!

"President Bush can kiss my ass, the Federal government can kiss my ass, even though there isn't much [ass] left" - random middle aged white lady (under the influence of alcohol)

"Blahnik's, Broadway and Balls over Black People suffering" referring to Condaleza Rice during the unfolding of Katrina. - Michael Eric Dyson Upenn African American Studies Professor

"Refugees, what kind of shit is that? What, when the storm blew in, it blew away our citizenship also?" - New Orleans Man

NO WORDS...

Pink Letter Law

So, everyone thinks of me as the girl who can equate every life experience to a Sex and the City episode. Well, ladies and gents, today, Sex and the City came in handy during my Family Law Class as I was able to understand and put a hypothetical into context. So, my professor says that impotence of one of the spouses that is not discovered until after the nuptials have been performed is grounds for annulment. So, of course, I immediately think of Trey and Charlotte from Season 3. Here is the thing, SATC fans, would Charlotte have qualified for this easy out, considering that she finally chose to have sex w/ Trey the night before her wedding, so technically, she was clued in to his impotent status. Or could the argument be made that one poor performence does not an impotent make. Anyways, regardless of the outcome for McDougal v. McDougal, had I not been such a crazed Sex and the City fan, I would not have been able to apply this family law concept to a real world (a.k.a Sex and the City) experience. Leave it to Erin to bring a little PINK into the BLACK letter law. Love & Laters!

CANCUN: TAKE TRES (that's a wrap)

Things that I missed while in Cancun:

• First and foremost, my mom (even though she was driving me absolutely CA-RA-ZY the 24 hours before I left, I completely missed her the most while I was gone, like a little kid at overnight camp)
• My daily dose of Wendy Williams from 2-6 PM
• Chatting w/ my Pennsylvania Ashley B. about nothing in particular, basically office / school gossip and other randomness (and my daily virtual head nods to Ashley’s “boooyyyyfriend” Arty!
• My cat Missy and even her 9lives flavored breath
• My house, bathroom, bedroom, etc. etc. etc.
• English speakers
• American dollars
• Candy options, i.e. SOUR PATCH KIDS
• Talking to my “baby puffin” just because… (he will be thoroughly introduced in a future posting)
• Rita’s water ice and Philadelphia pretzels (of course)
• Cold water (b/c evidently Mexicans value water set at room temperature)

Things that I will DEFINITELY NOT miss about CANCUN:

• La Coocarachas translated to mean cock roaches
• Seeing old moms live out their wildest spring break Cancun fantasies from 1964
• The brown towel that the hotel staff left in our room which they claimed was clean, BROWN is never clean, UNLESS, of course it is brown skin that we are talking about!!! (and we ALL know that brown skin is ... effing fabulous!)
• The 24/7 smell of alcohol that was everywhere
• The exploitation of Mexicans (Mexican bar dancers, Mexican male dancers who stripped at night clubs, Mexican midgets who served green alcohol in unmarked alcoholic containers, Mexican midgets who wore dreadlocks and Indian feathers in their heads, Mexican hustlers who would try to sell you salt water at the beach, Mexican hair braiders, who are offering to brade tourists hair..."biatch, I challenge you to a hair braiding battle, " Mexicans who (you get the picture). . .

Things that I will miss about Cancun:

• Fun times w/ Ashley and Jay (Ashley’s boyfriend)
• All inclusive drinks all day, everyday (If only such could be the norm at Villanova School of Law)
• Jet skiing...believe it or not, I enjoyed it!
• Uhm yea... I think that is it!!!

HEY CANCUN, IT'S BEEN REAL!

CANCUN: TAKE DOS

Ok, so it is definitely nice being away, and just being on vacation, but at times I have had mixed emotions about being here. Last night for example, while at Dady O’s I kept thinking in my head, “Omigosh, I am way too classy for Cancun.” I’m sorry, but watching slut bag whore type girls battle it out in a pole-dancing contest, and having a Mexican midget come by every 5 minutes whistling his little Mehicano whistle in my ear in an attempt to get me to drink some green alcoholic goo from an unlabeled bottle (see Erin Richelle’s comments on unmarked or generically marked bottles of liquor in “Welcome to Detroit City” posting) DOES NOT a fun / fabulous time make.

So, I thought to myself, what does a BAP do when she finds herself in this situation? (a) Pout and ruin her and everyone else’s trip? (b) Say, “when in Rome do as the Romans” and join in on the fun, (c) talk to the fabulous BAP voice in her head that tells her, “Girlfriend, you are on vacation, you can make the best out of any and every situation,” realizing that I only have less than 3 days in this place, make the best of it and promise myself that I will never return again.
If, you guessed “A” you have mistaken the B.A.P. for the B.I.T.C.H., if you guessed “B”, you have mistaken the B.A.P. for the Bogus BAP (see definition of types of BAPs in BAP Handbook), and if you guessed “C”, ding, ding, ding, YOU ARE CORRECT!!!

I brightened my trip up by starting the following morning off with a mimosa at brunch, followed up by jet-skiing…YES I jet skied. I will admit that it took a whole heck of a lot of convincing by Ashley and Jay…but it was pretty fun…even though I was afraid to go out by myself, Ashley and I shared, and we even switched half way through and she left me drive, which was WILD to say the least … lots of screaming, lots of jerking and almost being tossed into the ocean, but we are alive and safe, which is a good thing since I currently don’t have medical insurance, b/c my mom’s plan dropped me b/c I am 23…but damnit I am a full time LAW student, and that should COUNT FOR SOMETHING. Sorry, for digressing but that was an attack for insurance companies, just in case the CEO of HMO or whatever it is called is a Memoirs of Erin Richelle reader…

So, anyways, after 30 minutes of jet skiing, we hung out in the pool for hours, followed by reading my Harper’s Bazaar and Lucky magazine under a Cabana on the beach and then a fabulous dinner that night consisting of lobster, shrimp, sea bass, scallops and sangria, I can say I truly did the BAP thing and brought the C for Class back into the C for Cancun trip!!!

CANCUN: TAKE UNO

Memoirs of Erin Richelle in Cancun: Volume 1

Hola?!? Donde es Erin??? In Cancun … Since, I realized that when I return from Cancun, I will start classes immediately, my postingS may be a little fewer and further between, in an effort to make those A’s. So, I am going to try to give you a few postings while I am here in Cancun, so I can send you off in the best way possible! So even though I have barely been here for 24 hours, there have already been a few highlights…

Ø Making friends with these over 40 year old black women, who happened to be from Philadelphia. When Ashley and I first saw them, we initially assumed that they DEFINITELY had children our age, but these women were clearly JUICED up rather well. So of course they made friends with us by virtue of the fact that we were the only other black female faces in the area … and we were OBVIOUSLY not a threat to them, b/c we were in a completely different age group / different target markets. Come to find out they are from Philadelphia, and when I say I am too and they ask where from, they quickly distinguish my “Philadelphia” from theirs b/c they are really from Philadelphia…and they automatically nickname me Wallingford, so we will see if that sticks for the duration of the trip.

Ø Additionally we’ve been exposed to a lot of T&A…black ones, tan ones, red ones, and OF COURSE white ones, big ones, small ones barely any ones at all…it is like a Dr. Seuss book of ta-tas…

Ø Last night we saw tons of celebs, Michael Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and the lead singer of Guns n’ Roses…crazy right??? Well, actually we saw their impersonators, but after a couple of drinks they might as well be the real thing. We went to this club called CoCo Bongo…A whole lotta fun…It was a club / entertainment show / crazy A time. Being self-described as the “greatest nightclub” in the world…mmm idk about that, but, I can say that I’ve never been to a club with an entertainment show of Michael J, Jennifer Lopez, etc. etc. impersonators, then a battle between the Green Hornet and Spider man battle where it was a type of Ringling brothers act as they battled suspended in the air… then the Mexico’s #1 DJ, DJ Slay, came through the 3 level crowd to the “rocky anthem.” This led to part II of Ashley and Erin Richelle’s Coyote Ugly venture that occurred during Spring 2005.
On that note, adios for now!

An apology of sorts...

Girl, you see that I,
I apologize
Tell me what to do
To get through to you
Girl, it’s not the same
I know I was to blame

Just tell me when will I See you smile again
Tell me when will I see you smile again
‘Cause I know I messed up, baby (Oh)
And I know you’re fed up (Ooh), sugar (Hey, hey)
- Bell Biv Devoe circa 1990

Friends, Romans, BAPS, countrymen ... lend me your ears ... I, Erin Richelle, do hereby apologize for not updating my blog since July 24th, this reflected negligence on my behalf!!! (a little legalese / pink letter law never hurts...) Samantha yelled at me last week and vowed that she would never read my blog again, since I hadn't made any new postings...and Cassandra fussed me out in a similar fasion.... Clearly I know I messed up readers...and I know you're fed up!!!

Anyways, I had made a few drafts to post but thought they either weren't worthy of being posted or were sorta mean, but then I was reminded by Miss Cassie B. this weekend (during one of the best weekends of my life with Young Cass, Jules, and J-Co) that it is my blog...and I shouldn't really care what I post / or what others thing of them!!! So, w/out any further ado... I present, "Are We Mean?" and "Cadeau de Politesse"...

Are we MEAN???

"She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack." - Regina circa Mean Girls

After traveling the social waves of high school, college / sorority life, and now law school I have managed to carve out my space in various social circles. One social circle that has managed to stand the test of times has been the Fearsome Foursome, (Candice, Eneida, Shannon & myself) although it is rare that all four of us are together, whenever even two of us are reunited we somehow are transformed into these viciously evil creatures, where absolutely no one is off limits. Another group is composed of the self proclaimed fabulous track girls of the University of Richmond ... (Ashley, Jen, Julee & myself) over the years we have formed a crazy special bond, but again when we are together it is definitely a gossip fest. Then we have the pow-wow group. Pow-wowwing: n. The process of gathering either in a dorm room or NC Pink Room where individuals including but not limited to (Samantha, Erica, Cassandra, Krystal, Shannon, Diamond (before her 2004 graduation) and Erin) get together under the auspices of handling business but results in divulging of secrets, i saw..., i heard..., and giiirrrll did you knows... ultimately resulting in a hardcore gossip session. Most recently, Ashley and I have emerged as a fierce mean girl duo in a way that can only be categorized by the split of Destiny's Child - (where we would be Beyonce & Kelly...if you get where I'm going). Ashley and I have spent most of the summer being nothing less than MEAN GIRLS.

Now, some of you self-righteous types are probably thinking or saying, "you biatches...who do you think you are???" My response: "biatches, we are you!!!" Just as my little cousin Drew says when he does something gross like pick his nose and eats it or passes gas in public, "boys will be boys" and all I'm saying is, "girls will be girls." Girls, regardless of what part of the country / world we are from, how we were raised, what schools we attended, and what organizations / groups we have been apart of ... at the end of the day we are still women, and unfortunately, with that comes our PBC (Platinum Biatch Card) where no credit check is necessary and we are all pre-approved at birth. I came to this realization, when I was in Detroit with two of my galpals (Aisha and Wiljeana) who I've only known for two years, only see about once or twice a year, but when we are together, it's like we've been BFF's from birth.

Unfortunately, I noticed that I say the following phrase to all of these groups of friends, usually in the midst of laughter - "Omigosh, why are we soooo mean???" Although we have all attempted to make tremendous efforts to be nicer...I guess you really can't teach old gals new tricks!!! Is it in the female chemistry that makes us this way??? Is it some horrible trait found in our second X chromosome that isn't in the male's Y chromosome that makes us this way??? Did our Barbie's and Cabbage Patch dolls send us subliminal bitchy messages??? Or, since we "learned everything we needed to know in Kindergarden," did Miss Macamur pull all of the girls in knee socks and penny loafers off to the side of the room to give us a quick tutorial on how to be mean??? Hmmmm....I wonder!?!?!?!?!

To close, I will leave you with a few of the meanest comments that have been uttered from some of my closest galpals (and i will even admit to having uttered a few of them myself) that come to mind...if anyone else remembers any classics...feel free to send them to me and I will post them for America's viewing pleasure!!!

- "Gross, her boyfriend writes sex books"
- "I know you can't judge a book by its cover, but DAMN, that's an ugly cover"
-"I knew I didn't like her as soon as I saw her wearing that polyester jacket"
-"eeeuw his titties are bigger than mine"
-"His tongue ring is probably like a petri dish full of STD's"
-"If she were an animal, she'd be a rhinocerous"
-"She probably made that Louis Vuitton purse in her basement"
-"Girl, don't worry about him. He has two kids anyway!"
-"So what??? Do these boys (who wore athletic department handouts) during their 4 years of college, graduate and either work for Enterprise or suddenly think they are models"
-"Whatever biatch, take off that squirrel from around your neck" (for the record S. it was not squirrel, it was a 1940's vintage Hadley fur and cashmere cardigan passed down from my great-aunt ... thank you very much)
-One friend's mother encouraged her to say this when she was growing up, anytime one of her classmates called her a ni**er "Well, your mother sucks ni**er dick" (clearly some of us have been MEAN GIRLS since an early age and like a fine wine our meanness has only matured and grown more effing fabulous with age)...