In Summer 2002, I made my first pilgrimage to Cincinnati in celebration of my Aunt Stella’s 100th Birthday. Wow, right?!?! 100 years seems absolutely wild, when taken outside of the context of Al Roker and Willard Scott’s 100-year-old Smuckers ladies and gents that they announce on the Today Show. Well, in 2002, my trip to Cincinnati was characterized and later remembered by several events, the first being that Nikki (my hair stylist who was previously introduced in an earlier posting) used a flat bevel on my hair for the first time, so for my entire week in Cinci, my hair was fabulously straight and bouncy to a level that I had yet to experience. Another experience from Cinci was a cute little burrito shop that my mom and I discovered across the bridge in Lexington Kentucky, that when I added some of the hot sauce titled, “Burnin’ in Hell,” my mouth literally burned in hell for the next hour. Every time I attempted to drink some water to calm my taste buds down, I could feel the water burning my mouth and throat as it went down. Clearly, I should have heeded the “Burnin’ in Hell” title and literally taken the warning.
Anyways, while those are a few of my takeaways from my 2002 Cinci visit, the most important and memorable experiences of Cincinnati were spending time with my Great-Great Aunts Catherine “Aunt Cat” and Stella “Aunt Stell.” Aunt Catherine and Aunt Stella were sisters of my maternal Grandmother’s mother, Essie James. Aiken South Carolina born, Aunt Cat and Aunt Stell were born from the Union of my Great-Great Grandfather Lafayette James and his second wife Lucretia (Lafayette’s first wife, my great-great grandmother died not long after giving birth to my great grandmother Essie). At the time that I met my “golden girls” Aunt Stella was turning 100 and Aunt Catherine had just turned 98 that previous April Fools Day.
After they both retired, the two sisters had been living together in Cincinnati since 1971. Although this was my first time meeting them since I was a baby, being in their presence was absolutely amazing. Half sisters of my great grandmother, (whom I had only seen fabulous black and white photos of and heard stories of during family reunions and get togethers) and here they were sitting here, telling me stories of who I am and where I came from long before anyone ever thought of my existence. Even though they were 100 years old, for the most part all of their faculties were completely there. At times they would get slightly confused, and after we would be sitting in their house for hours, and listening to all of their stories, Aunt Cat would look up at us and the conversation would take the following turn:
Aunt Cat: Now, who are you again?
My mom: I’m Joscelyn Mildred’s daughter, your Sister Essie’s Great Granddaughter, and this is my daughter Erin. So we are your great and great-great nieces.
Aunt Cat: Oh that’s nice!
Aunt Stel: Now, Cat, I told you that Jos was Mil’s daughter (Mil referring to my Granny).
Erin: (smiling)
Aunt Cat: Well how is Mil?
Mom: Well you know mom died.
Aunt Cat: What do you mean Mil is dead?
Mom: Mom died in 2000, remember?
Aunt Cat: Mil’s Dead??? Dead…and Buried???
Mom: Yes, dead and buried.
Aunt Cat: No one told me Mil died. If I would have known I would have come to her funeral. Stell, did you know Mil had died??? I ‘clare for God Stell, nobody told me Mil was dead, I sho would have gone to her funeral.
The conversation would go back to reminiscing, discussing any and everything, from their favorite food (White Castle Hamburgers), to stories of the country in Aiken SC, to stories of Aunt Cat’s days in Beverly Hills, to who still owed them money from when Woodrow Wilson was in office. But then after an hour or two of conversation, Aunt Cat would look up and again ask the question, “Now who are you again?” and it was suddenly like lather, rinse and repeat, as the same exact questions were asked verbatim. But after all, being on God’s green Earth for a combined total of nearly 200 years, I think they are entitled to a little confusion. I mean, sometimes I go downstairs to get something, and by the time I get downstairs have totally forgotten what I walked downstairs to get – so I totally cannot fault “the sisters.”
In 2004 Aunt Stell passed at the age of 102. And last Wednesday, October 25th, Aunt Cat passed also at the age of 102 concluding the last of a generation of the James’. Can you imagine all that they had seen during their 100+ years? I mean, who would have imagined in 1902 (the year Aunt Stell was born), that some 106 years later, Essie’s great-granddaughter
Erin Richelle would be
typing a memoir of her great-great aunt’s (Aunt Stell and Aunt Cat) on something called a
computer, and by way of a phenomenon called the
internet, she would be able to post this memoir in the form of a
blog that her friends, family members and even strangers from around the world would be able to read and have access to! In 1902, my "kin folk" of Aiken SC would have thought you had lost your
“cotton-picking” mind.
So on Wednesday morning, I with my mom and her two first cousins (Cousin Ron and Cousin Deborah-Anne) headed out on the PA turnpike, through West Virginia and Ohio ending in Cinci, meeting our family from Atlanta, Detroit and California to lay Aunt Cat to rest. Well actually, although the funeral was today, she won’t be completely laid to rest until Saturday, after her body is flown to South Carolina and buried in the family’s plot at my Great-Grandfather’s church (he was a Baptist preacher) of Beaverdam Baptist Church in Aiken SC. Ordinarily it would have been impossible for me to miss 3 days of class, but luckily, my Con Law classes were canceled for the week, so I was able to get a way with only missing minimum class. Despite the fact that I missed a day of classes, I learned more in the past 48 hours, then I could have possibly absorbed during that time spent in Garrey Hall (no offense professors). During my trip I could tell that I had suddenly become “grown folk,” as I was hearing family stories and secrets that only a few years back I would have been excused and ushered from the room before any such “grown folk talk” was uttered.
I definitely consider myself fabulously blessed to have been able to meet these more than phenomenal women, who were able to give me an insight on my proud past, as I am in the process of preparing for my oh-so-bright future. I thank God for the opportunity that I had to spend time with them, and I am 100% sure that there was a huge spectacle in heaven last Wednesday when Aunt Cat reunited with Aunt Stell, my great-grandmother Essie, and the rest of the James / Calhoun family that was up there waiting for her! Have fun, be blessed, and make the most of the opportunities that you have with your older loved ones…there is a lot that we can learn from the type of people that they are and the way that they lived their lives!!! Additionally, I can almost guarantee that if your family is even ½ like mine, you can get some CA-RA-ZY stories, with some colorful language and obscenity combinations that have been long retired, but could possibly be resurrected and make for great entertainment. As always, love and laters …
