"Le Cadeau de Politesse"

In the August Vogue (on newstands now) I came across an article entitled, "fashionably late" which discussed the concept of timeliness when it comes to social events, dinner parties and the like. Being the savvy, over-extended, always-on-the-go people that we are, often times we are running late for events as a result of previous commitments. But there are also those times when we consider it fashionable to be late, simply because we expect others will do the same and fear being the first eager beaver to arrive. Vogue referenced this idea of being fashionably late and when fashionably late crosses the boundaries of rude, by the French phrase "Le Cadeau de Politesse," loosely translated to mean, "The Gift of Politeness." This desire to arrive fashionably late has created a glitch in the party thrower and goers world.

This has been a constant source of disagreement and contention between me and my mom. Since my mom reads my blog (in an effort to discover the "real me" as she says) I decided I would confront her in this posting...as this is a non-confrontational method that will not turn into an argument.

My law school education has taught me the importance of disclosing all relevent information (regardless if some of the information may be damaging to your argument), however you can try to downplay or destress the particular facts that don't place your client in the most favorable light...so here goes the story between Erin Richelle and Joscelyn Alana.

Ok, so since the birth of Jeffrey Andrew and moreso, Madison Alexis, it seems as though we have more and more family get-togethers, dinners, etc. B/c mom likes cooking her non-traditional black people meals (non-traditional in the sense that instead of macaroni and cheese, collared greens, yams, fried chicken and cornbread (which she can make all very well) she opts to make crab quiche, pistachio crusted salmon, 7 layer salads, oyster stuffing, lump crabcakes, mango tarts, enchilladas, lobster ravioli, clams, mussels, etc) we usually end up hosting the family at our house. The argument usually begins b/c mom wants the house clean and as all of you know I am domestically challenged, so I have a hard time finding the urgency in dusting the dustboards around the house, isn't vacuuming good enough!!! Needless to say after hours of "Erin Richelle, don't forget to move this, pick up this, vacuum that, wash this, shine that, bla bla bla..." there is about enough friction between this winning mother-daughter duo to make my hair (after a really good press) stand straight up in a staticy state...

Then the BIG BANG comes ... so let's say we tell the fam that dinner starts at 5...ok, we are black so we ALL know that means 5:30. But with some of my family members that 5:00 translates to 6:00, 6:30 and possibly even 7:00. Well b/c my mom is on her exotic meal tip, you can't really have mussels, salmon, or some of her other meals sitting out too long or it just won't taste as good... So, mom rationalizes that she will put the food in when the first guest arrives... (mind you its not like roasting a turkey which takes all day, most of this seafood takes about 15 - 30 mins max)...that way it won't be cold when everyone arrives...

I couldn't disagree with her more, I say, have the food ready at the time that you tell the guests that dinner will be served. Therefore, if you say dinner at 5 and no one shows until 6...when they arrive the food will either be a) VERY COLD or b) GONE...and they will know for next time that 5 means 5, therefore encouraging them to arrive on time for the next event! Under my mom's backwards system, she is promoting tardiness and actually encouraging it, b/c when guests arrive at 6 and see that she is just putting the food in, next time they will come even later, 6:30, b/c they know that the meal definitely won't be ready at 5:00. Creating a never ending cycle of tardiness on both ends ... So, with that said, what belief system do you subscribe to??? ... If you say 5:00 should everything be ready at 5:00 or should we continue to play the "Colored People Game " and not serve the food until 6??? ... Let Erin Richelle know?!?!

Clearly, Erin Richelle believes that if both the party goer and party thrower submitted to "Le Cadeau de Politesse" then the black socialite / party world would be a much better place for you and me...

I know once mom reads this she will be upset that I put her on blogspot blast, but until she creates Memoirs of Joscelyn Alana she can only voice her complaints to me...and her reach won't be nearly as wide as that of Erin Richelle's ... love & laters!!!